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Oct. 15th, 2007 11:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
erdaMy daughter got married this morning.
My daughter's birth mom has a bad habit of promising she's going to show up at stuff and then, well, not showing up. My daughter knows this, but no matter how hard she tries to tell herself first mom is not really going to show, I know part of her is still hoping that this time it will be different. Then she's all angry and disappointed and feels like a fool.
I feel for my daughter, but I find it difficult to get really angry at the birth family because they always seem just like my kids to me. I mean, they also were abused and neglected children passed around from home to home until they aged out of the system. Most of them have pretty serious mental health issues. They were just the kind of kids I adopt. Really I'm sure first mom fully intended to show up today, and she really believed she was going to when she told my daughter that nothing could keep her away. But then she probably got high or drunk and forgot about it. I'm sure she doesn't feel comfortable outside her home neighborhood also, anymore than I would be comfortable in her world. I just can't feel any indignation for my daughter, though I know she's hurting. Every event that is supposed to be joyful is tinged with loss for her. It's sad.
At least her (biological) great grandmother was there. Which is more than any of my other kids have ever had.
I feel for my daughter, but I find it difficult to get really angry at the birth family because they always seem just like my kids to me. I mean, they also were abused and neglected children passed around from home to home until they aged out of the system. Most of them have pretty serious mental health issues. They were just the kind of kids I adopt. Really I'm sure first mom fully intended to show up today, and she really believed she was going to when she told my daughter that nothing could keep her away. But then she probably got high or drunk and forgot about it. I'm sure she doesn't feel comfortable outside her home neighborhood also, anymore than I would be comfortable in her world. I just can't feel any indignation for my daughter, though I know she's hurting. Every event that is supposed to be joyful is tinged with loss for her. It's sad.
At least her (biological) great grandmother was there. Which is more than any of my other kids have ever had.
