I find my isolationism affects my interactions online differently from offline, but not necessarily less. And I definitely feel very different about conversing on DW than on LJ. I'm not sure if that's size of the crowd, or the content of the crowd, but I'm leaning toward content.
I don't like to interact with most people socially, but I've had lots of customer service jobs, and for me that's totally different from other interaction, it's a formalized relationship (or it used to be) with rules and a structure and smart people realize I'm not providing good service because I like them. I think that's one of those workarounds you talked about, but I think it's a good one. I've never had any trouble answering comments on fic, as I know some folks do, because I'm totally okay with it being a bit of a superficial conversation most of the time.
I like being anti-social and I don't apologize for it, because the vast majority of people have no interests that intersect with mine. I used to struggle with feeling guilty or ashamed of my nature, but I'm very comfortable with it now. Where I am online, the vast majority of people don't bore me, or even irritate me very much. Also I can just ignore them much more easily when they do.
Fic exchanges are really not my thing, and not just because the only one I signed up for, I ended up having to write het! I actually really, really hate the failure and anxiety rhetoric that surrounds Yuletide, and NaNo and almost all fests--oh, I'm so bad for not writing enough, good enough, fast enough, when I bloody don't feel like it. It starts sounding like diet talk after a while. I like solo projects or writing in prompt fests, that sort of thing.
I definitely agree with you on the spoons disappearing as you get older. It's a skill managing your interactions so that what you do gives you the greatest amount of pleasure, and I think the first step is giving yourself permission to put your needs first.
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Date: 2010-01-06 09:04 pm (UTC)I don't like to interact with most people socially, but I've had lots of customer service jobs, and for me that's totally different from other interaction, it's a formalized relationship (or it used to be) with rules and a structure and smart people realize I'm not providing good service because I like them. I think that's one of those workarounds you talked about, but I think it's a good one. I've never had any trouble answering comments on fic, as I know some folks do, because I'm totally okay with it being a bit of a superficial conversation most of the time.
I like being anti-social and I don't apologize for it, because the vast majority of people have no interests that intersect with mine. I used to struggle with feeling guilty or ashamed of my nature, but I'm very comfortable with it now. Where I am online, the vast majority of people don't bore me, or even irritate me very much. Also I can just ignore them much more easily when they do.
Fic exchanges are really not my thing, and not just because the only one I signed up for, I ended up having to write het! I actually really, really hate the failure and anxiety rhetoric that surrounds Yuletide, and NaNo and almost all fests--oh, I'm so bad for not writing enough, good enough, fast enough, when I bloody don't feel like it. It starts sounding like diet talk after a while. I like solo projects or writing in prompt fests, that sort of thing.
I definitely agree with you on the spoons disappearing as you get older. It's a skill managing your interactions so that what you do gives you the greatest amount of pleasure, and I think the first step is giving yourself permission to put your needs first.