erda: (Default)
2014-04-25 10:50 am

Depression/social isolation support group?

I have a few ideas about depression that I would like to try out, but I need to find 2 or 3 (or more, the more the better) people who would be interested in joining me.

Disclaimer: This is not meant to be a cure or anything for depression, just another tool to help out, nor is it meant to imply that positive thinking can cure depression. It's for people who've maybe gotten some therapy, done a little reading on CBT, gotten on some
medication(s), started exercising or made other progress, and are feeling a little better, gaining some skills for combating depression, but are still feeling socially isolated.

I've noticed a lot of depressed people come from depressed families, which I believe is mostly due to genetic factors, though there are, I think, also some environmental factors to most
types of depression. Having a good support system, we are often told, can be a huge factor in dealing with all kinds of stress and mood problems. But how can you get a good support
system if your whole family is depressed? Ever have what you thought was a good idea, only to have a (depressed) family member thoughtlessly shoot it down? Where do you find cheerleaders when everyone around you is even more depressed than you are, and much less self aware?

I went to a depression support group for a while, but it turned into a gripe session where each person had a turn to lay out a long list of things they were struggling with, and I had to stop going because, wtf, it was making me more depressed and dragged down hearing all these awful stories. I've also heard of groups where people send out cheery little messages to everyone, but that never works for me because it is so impersonal.

So here's the idea. Small groups of only 3 or 4 people are formed. Participants have to have gtalk and be willing to share their gtalk info with the rest of their group. Groups can also share their journaling sites if they like. The groups last for one month. During that month, group members communicate support to each other through gtalk. No negative statements or complaints are allowed. Group members are encouraged to post positive things from their lives and things they are grateful for. But, more importantly, group members should show an interest in the other group members by asking brief questions of each other. A short good morning! Can be sent in the morning to other group members, short supportive questions like how does your day look, how are you feeling etc. A short hanging in there or struggling with work stress, or feeling a bit down is ok if it's not your best day, as long as you don't start going into depressing details. You can also just not talk if it is such a bad day that you can't shake off a cloud of negativity. Links to funny or uplifting pics or stories would be nice. We could also, if we like, post things for our groups unto our journals and tag them so that group members who want to see something positive but don't want to get lost in hours of posts, could just check their group tag every day. Members can communicate as much or as little as they feel comfortable, although, of course, I would want everyone to participate a little on most days. At night, people could wish each other restful sleep or give out hugs or whatever nice thing they feel comfortable with. These are just suggestions. Because the groups are so small, it will be possible to get to know each other and be more personal, making the support more supportive, I hope.

This is not meant to take up a huge amount of time. Group members only need to be willing to send a few short gtalk messages here and there to help combat the social isolation many depressed people experience. You also don't need to communicate with all group members equally. In fact it might be better to only talk to one or two people at a time so the contact feels more personal.

If anyone wants to give this a try, let me know and I will organize it. Or if you have any questions I would be happy to explain more. But whether you are interested or not, please please if you actually read this could you give me a signal boost? I hardly ever post so my little idea doesn't have a chance without a lot of reblogging help.
erda: (Default)
2013-05-09 06:26 pm

Gender and Me

The summer that I was seven we went through a period where we played house every afternoon with a couple of the neighborhood kids. We would meet on our back porch and divide up the roles. There was always a short struggle over who would be the Daddy, the Mommy, the little sisters or little brothers, all of which made me intensely uncomfortable for reasons that, at the time, were a complete muddle in my little brain.

Every time we played I would end up asking if I could be the dog, since none of the other choices felt right to me. Everyone would have a laugh at my weirdness, but my brother would insist that if I wanted to be the dog, they had to let me. The role of dog seemed okay in theory to me, but it never quite worked out the way I wanted it to. I thought as the dog I would be loved and petted and included in all the family activities, but instead, I ended up ignored and forgotten, which, lol, probably was a realistic portrayal of the average family's attitude toward their pet.

But one afternoon, having given this whole situation zero conscious thought, I didn't ask to be the dog. I remember with great vividness, that I was standing gazing out through our back yard and beyond, feeling so jangled and confined and confused, and I said, "I will be the mountain lion who lives in the nearby hills and comes down to the town now and then to visit with the people." I'd like to think that I said this in a firm, assertive voice, but in reality, it probably came out weak and tentative, as is my way.

Nonetheless, weak and timid though I may have said it, I didn't wait for their permission, but bounded out through the yard and up the street on my mountain lion legs, all the way to and through the playground and into the woods, alone and finally feeling that I had gotten it right.

I've been living in the hills ever since then, and sometimes, when the loneliness gets to me, I still come down to visit the people in the towns, but I can never be comfortable there, and I can never be the Mommy, the Daddy, or the little sister or the little brother.
erda: (Default)
2013-02-14 07:34 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Aargh! Watched the pilot of Person of Interest and I'm completely hooked. But where can I watch the rest of the season? It doesn't seem to be for sale anywhere. Anyone know where I can watch?
erda: (Default)
2011-11-14 09:56 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Just wanted to say that I <3 <3 <3 the new navigation bars on the AO3. Very, very nice in both appearance and improvement to accessibility.

(disclaimer: I am on the AD&T committee, but I have nothing to do with the design of the nav bars, or design in general. The last time I tried to figure out that box model thingy, I decided I am just not smart enough for front end work.)

Now I am going to try to get some work done with my job working as a c++ programmer, something I would no way have had the nerve to even attempt if not for the support I've received from some of the wonderful people involved with the otw.
erda: (Default)
2011-05-15 09:11 am

This is the last day

Today is the last day for Three Weeks for Dreamwidth, and I'd love to see the tag standing out on the latest things page, so I'm encouraging everyone who can to make a small post to their journal and tag it threeweeksfordreamwidth.

I joined Goodreads a while back, but I found it to be a bit difficult to navigate, so I didn't do much with it at first. I can't be bothered recording all the books I've read in the past. But now I've joined a feminist reading group, and it's turning out pretty awesome. The best thing about it is that I've friended some of the more prolific readers in the group so that every time they add something to their "to read" list I get an email notification. This has given me a whole bunch of great recs. I've never had anyone rec so many interesting books to me before, and I'm loving it. Anyone else on Goodreads?
erda: (Default)
2011-01-19 04:15 pm

ebooks and all that

I've been reading a small fraction of the posts about DRM and ebooks and all that, since it appears it would take a lifetime to read all of it. Read more... )
erda: (Default)
2010-12-03 09:41 am

Books and TV

Finished a couple of books.

Literary Theory A Very Short Introduction by Jonathan Culler
The End of Gender: A Psychological Autopsy by Shari L. Thurer

I think I got both of these from [personal profile] princessofgeeks

more )
erda: (Default)
2010-11-30 07:55 am


It's that time of year when I am excited about sending you a card! Please comment here (comments are screened) with your address if you would like one. I forgot to shop for cards, so I will probably have to go with a last minute one that mentions the holiday season or some such, but it will have no religious content.
erda: (Default)
2010-11-03 11:08 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

You know how you put your pants on in the morning and then you look around for a shirt, and you try on a couple that don't really work, and then you get one that's okay? Then you start your day, but after a while you find yourself digging in the back of the closet for a different shirt. And you find a nice one you've forgotten about and you can't imagine why you haven't worn it for a long time. So you put it on and it is cut kind of weird for your body but it looks okay. But then you still don't feel comfortable so you decide to try again with a shirt you originally rejected as too plain, and you remember you have a slightly butch loose fitting short sleeve shirt you can put over the plain one and that one of your favorite necklaces could add just the right touch. So you change again and you look in the mirror and you look totally awesome?

I love when that happens.
erda: (Default)
2010-10-30 02:16 pm

6.06 You Can't Handle the Truth

I've been reading everyone's reactions, and so many good points are being made about what is wrong with all of this, but, I don't know.

spoilers for 6.06 and the preview for 6.07 )
erda: (Default)
2010-10-23 12:31 pm

6.05 Live Free or TwiHard

I thought the episode was okay.

spoilers )
erda: (Default)
2010-10-20 10:18 am
Entry tags:

It's October

Time for the fundraising drive for the OTW.

fundraising drive

I was thinking about writing out all the things I've learned from being a volunteer coder with the AO3, things like Ruby and Javascript, and so on, but those are not the most important things I've received.

The OTW is simply a good group of people working for fandom, trying to deal with the repercussions of the inevitably increasing visibility of our presence on the internet. Most of us know the big names in the OTW, but there are many, many unseen volunteers giving hours and hours of time and effort to both the archive and the OTW in general, people barely known in most circles of fandom.

I've been continually impressed with the care with which policies are crafted and recrafted, the serious desire to listen and respond to fandom, shown by the OTW. Input, and particularly critical feedback, is taken very seriously. Of course it isn't possible to please everyone in all things, but I've watched the OTW put forth a great deal of effort to be respectful, reasonable, and inclusive.

I'm going to link to my previous post about my experience as a complete novice coder working on the archive, because it sums up what I've gained by my association with this group.

Times like this I wish I was more articulate, but I just wanted to say that if you support the OTW, and you are in a position which allows you to give, your support at this time would be a huge help.
erda: (Default)
2010-10-09 08:23 am

6.03 The Third Man

Okay, that was, um, good and not so good.
Mostly I found it not terribly compelling. )
erda: (Default)
2010-10-03 02:37 pm

6.02 Two and a Half Men

Show was preempted here, but I finally got to watch, and I liked it!
spoilers )
erda: (Default)
2010-09-24 10:30 pm

Spn 6.01

Well, I don't know. That wasn't at all what I was expecting.spoilers )
erda: (Default)
2010-09-24 07:29 am

what with the new Spn season starting and all

Rename is coming to dreamwidth soon, and I'm going to rename my Spn community. Right now it is called [community profile] episodic_supernatural. Because there are less people on dw, it's hard to get a lot of posting to comms, so I want to expand the purpose of the community to include anything related to a specific episode, including reviews, meta, vids, art, recs, etc, rather than just fic. I envision a comm where new fans can find more for each episode as they watch, as well as being fun for those of us who have been here for a while.

So I am revising the purpose of the comm to open it to any input that relates to a specific episode. Feel free to post old episode reviews and anything else you have which is episode related. I'd love to see the comm become more active.

If anyone has any idea for a new name for the comm, I'd be delighted to hear it.