Sometimes I think I can handle more participation and put myself out there a little. Then I run out of those emotional spoons (excellent way of putting it) and I retreat and lock down and lurk again for a long time.

Yes, that is exactly how it is for me, too. Participating wears me out and I go into lurk mode to recover. Glad you could comment, as I often feel like I am the only person for whom the internet did not solve my social anxiety problem. It would be cool to have a community for people like us, I think, except for the part where we would all be lurking. Hee! Oh well.