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SGA Fic: Double Talk (TheProdigal)
Title: Double Talk
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
keefaq
Word count: 1220
Pairing: John/Rodney
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Transformative work
Summary:Rodney has a dirty mind.
Missing Scenes and Tag for 5.14: The Prodigal
Written for the Season Five Tagathon at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
sga_episodefic
Rodney had an incredibly dirty mind. If there was any way to twist or turn a phrase into a double entendre, Rodney's inventive brain would find it, and John didn't appreciate that little talent at all. It was maddening that after all his time in the military, often in the company of marines for god’s sake, John still got embarrassed so easily, and worse, half the time he didn't even get the implication of what Rodney was saying until he'd been nudged and heckled a couple of times.
That was bad enough, and after four years Rodney's dirty mind showed no signs of slowing down, but lately it had taken an even worse turn in that the increasingly randy comments, instead of being just in his presence, were said directly to him, and all too often about him. It was getting harder and harder to act like he wasn’t bothered by the remarks.
At first he’d thought the fun for Rodney was in showing what a prude he thought John was, a way to score against him in public. But more and more it was happening when they were alone, just messing around, and, oh god, it was a testament to Rodney’s persistence that an innocuous little phrase like messing around now made him uncomfortable.
Scouting out damage in a water damaged area, when he’d innocently pointed out they needed a new pole to replace a sagging, water logged one, Rodney leaned in close and said sotto voce, “I’ve got a pole I’d be happy to share with you.”
Watching on the scanners as Lorne took a jumper down for a test involving the desalinization tanks, Rodney loomed over his shoulder and whispered, “I’d go deeper than that.
Biting into a sandwich like thing at a dinner in their honor on PTX-351, Rodney leaned again and said,” There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.” He went red at that one as much from outrage as from embarrassment, his enjoyment of the meal completely lost. “Score,” Rodney said triumphantly.
So after Teyla took the baby off to bed, when Rodney oh so casually said that his shaft needed a bushing lube, John at least got it right away, before Rodney could nudge him. It wasn’t even that extreme for Rodney lately. Already that evening, when John’s car had stalled out, he’d smirked and claimed naughtily, “Don’t worry, I can make anything rise again,” and after John’s car hit the wall on a sharp turn he’d said “I’d be happy to help you normalize your curves anytime you're in the mood.”
“Grow up, Rodney,” he said, even though he knew it only encouraged the lecherous remarks when he let Rodney see it was bothering him.
Back in their corridor later, having a last race before turning in for the night, Rodney’s car crashed into his from behind, sending them both flying into the wall, and Rodney smirked as they picked up their vehicles to check for damage. "What does it feel like having me rammed up your backside?” he asked in a perfectly innocent voice, but it was happening so much that John would have gotten it even without the smirk.
Rodney seemed reluctant to call it a night, and he followed John back to his room and hung around getting into his stuff while he got ready for bed. “We work well together, don’t you think?” he asked.
It was sad that John had to roll that around a bit before deciding it didn’t have any lecherous undertone. He spread toothpaste across his brush. “Sometimes,” he admitted grudgingly.
“Watching you brush your teeth is a real treat for me.”
He didn't understand where Rodney was going with that, which probably meant it was going to be something embarrassing. “You could leave,” he suggested as he started brushing.
“No I mean it. Watching you deal with that creamy, thick, white mouthful makes my day.”
John spit the toothpaste into the sink a little sooner than he’d intended.
“Hey, don’t ruin the image by spitting it all out,” Rodney said and that was it, John had had enough. He was going to punch Rodney out or something, and it must have shown on his face because Rodney took a couple of steps back and dropped his smirking gaze, muttering, “Easy there, John.”
But then he had an idea, a beautiful, awful idea. He knew how to get Rodney to stop. It was a perfect little gem of a plan, and he dropped his gaze cunningly, rinsing his mouth and drying his face methodically, keeping his expression bland, because this was going to be beautiful. He was going to freak Rodney the fuck out, and this merciless teasing would never be an issue again.
He straightened up to his full height slowly and deliberately, moving close to Rodney, and when Rodney instinctively backed up, he went with him. “What the fuck is with you, Rodney?” Rodney shrugged awkwardly, and John was not going to feel sorry for him because he was being a total jerk. “I’m tired of being the butt of all your jokes,” he winced when he heard himself say ‘butt’, god , Rodney was getting to him.
Rodney still didn’t look at him, and hadn’t reacted at all to his using the word butt. He mumbled something and John leaned closer. “I didn’t catch that,” he said. Rodney wilted, (oh god, he didn’t want to think about Rodney wilting), but he wasn’t going to be deterred by that. It was too late for Rodney to decide he didn’t want to play this game. He put his hand up on the wall, whisper close to Rodney’s ear. “Something you wanted from me, Rodney?”
Rodney’s freak out was a thing of beauty. He’d thrown both hands up as much as he could with John standing so close, and his eyes were wide and astounded. “Hey,” he said weakly. John felt a shiver of purely spiteful glee at the tremor in his voice. “Take it easy, there. Just kidding around.”
“Yeah? I don’t think so,” John said, as menacingly as he could- he felt like laughing at how well this was working, but then he turned his head and kissed Rodney right on the mouth, for all the world like he meant it. It was kind of surprising when he tried to think about it, but it was hard to concentrate with Rodney making little noises and scrabbling at his shirt.
When they finally broke apart, it seemed that he’d been successful in shutting Rodney up, but instead of a restful silence he heard himself babbling, “I want you to do everything, everything you’ve said.” He could tell Rodney wasn’t even listening. He was just standing there looking stunned. “Come on, McKay.”
“You’re going to call me by my last name, now?”
John jerked him toward the bed, pulling roughly at his clothing. “Take this off. Take everything off, and shut up. You don’t get to comment on my social skills. Not when you go around trying to seduce someone by acting like a jack ass.”
“It seems to be working out okay for me,” Rodney answered. He had his superior smirk back, but John noticed his hands trembling as he disrobed with astonishing speed.
Author:
keefaqWord count: 1220
Pairing: John/Rodney
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Transformative work
Summary:Rodney has a dirty mind.
Missing Scenes and Tag for 5.14: The Prodigal
Written for the Season Five Tagathon at
sga_episodeficRodney had an incredibly dirty mind. If there was any way to twist or turn a phrase into a double entendre, Rodney's inventive brain would find it, and John didn't appreciate that little talent at all. It was maddening that after all his time in the military, often in the company of marines for god’s sake, John still got embarrassed so easily, and worse, half the time he didn't even get the implication of what Rodney was saying until he'd been nudged and heckled a couple of times.
That was bad enough, and after four years Rodney's dirty mind showed no signs of slowing down, but lately it had taken an even worse turn in that the increasingly randy comments, instead of being just in his presence, were said directly to him, and all too often about him. It was getting harder and harder to act like he wasn’t bothered by the remarks.
At first he’d thought the fun for Rodney was in showing what a prude he thought John was, a way to score against him in public. But more and more it was happening when they were alone, just messing around, and, oh god, it was a testament to Rodney’s persistence that an innocuous little phrase like messing around now made him uncomfortable.
Scouting out damage in a water damaged area, when he’d innocently pointed out they needed a new pole to replace a sagging, water logged one, Rodney leaned in close and said sotto voce, “I’ve got a pole I’d be happy to share with you.”
Watching on the scanners as Lorne took a jumper down for a test involving the desalinization tanks, Rodney loomed over his shoulder and whispered, “I’d go deeper than that.
Biting into a sandwich like thing at a dinner in their honor on PTX-351, Rodney leaned again and said,” There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.” He went red at that one as much from outrage as from embarrassment, his enjoyment of the meal completely lost. “Score,” Rodney said triumphantly.
So after Teyla took the baby off to bed, when Rodney oh so casually said that his shaft needed a bushing lube, John at least got it right away, before Rodney could nudge him. It wasn’t even that extreme for Rodney lately. Already that evening, when John’s car had stalled out, he’d smirked and claimed naughtily, “Don’t worry, I can make anything rise again,” and after John’s car hit the wall on a sharp turn he’d said “I’d be happy to help you normalize your curves anytime you're in the mood.”
“Grow up, Rodney,” he said, even though he knew it only encouraged the lecherous remarks when he let Rodney see it was bothering him.
Back in their corridor later, having a last race before turning in for the night, Rodney’s car crashed into his from behind, sending them both flying into the wall, and Rodney smirked as they picked up their vehicles to check for damage. "What does it feel like having me rammed up your backside?” he asked in a perfectly innocent voice, but it was happening so much that John would have gotten it even without the smirk.
Rodney seemed reluctant to call it a night, and he followed John back to his room and hung around getting into his stuff while he got ready for bed. “We work well together, don’t you think?” he asked.
It was sad that John had to roll that around a bit before deciding it didn’t have any lecherous undertone. He spread toothpaste across his brush. “Sometimes,” he admitted grudgingly.
“Watching you brush your teeth is a real treat for me.”
He didn't understand where Rodney was going with that, which probably meant it was going to be something embarrassing. “You could leave,” he suggested as he started brushing.
“No I mean it. Watching you deal with that creamy, thick, white mouthful makes my day.”
John spit the toothpaste into the sink a little sooner than he’d intended.
“Hey, don’t ruin the image by spitting it all out,” Rodney said and that was it, John had had enough. He was going to punch Rodney out or something, and it must have shown on his face because Rodney took a couple of steps back and dropped his smirking gaze, muttering, “Easy there, John.”
But then he had an idea, a beautiful, awful idea. He knew how to get Rodney to stop. It was a perfect little gem of a plan, and he dropped his gaze cunningly, rinsing his mouth and drying his face methodically, keeping his expression bland, because this was going to be beautiful. He was going to freak Rodney the fuck out, and this merciless teasing would never be an issue again.
He straightened up to his full height slowly and deliberately, moving close to Rodney, and when Rodney instinctively backed up, he went with him. “What the fuck is with you, Rodney?” Rodney shrugged awkwardly, and John was not going to feel sorry for him because he was being a total jerk. “I’m tired of being the butt of all your jokes,” he winced when he heard himself say ‘butt’, god , Rodney was getting to him.
Rodney still didn’t look at him, and hadn’t reacted at all to his using the word butt. He mumbled something and John leaned closer. “I didn’t catch that,” he said. Rodney wilted, (oh god, he didn’t want to think about Rodney wilting), but he wasn’t going to be deterred by that. It was too late for Rodney to decide he didn’t want to play this game. He put his hand up on the wall, whisper close to Rodney’s ear. “Something you wanted from me, Rodney?”
Rodney’s freak out was a thing of beauty. He’d thrown both hands up as much as he could with John standing so close, and his eyes were wide and astounded. “Hey,” he said weakly. John felt a shiver of purely spiteful glee at the tremor in his voice. “Take it easy, there. Just kidding around.”
“Yeah? I don’t think so,” John said, as menacingly as he could- he felt like laughing at how well this was working, but then he turned his head and kissed Rodney right on the mouth, for all the world like he meant it. It was kind of surprising when he tried to think about it, but it was hard to concentrate with Rodney making little noises and scrabbling at his shirt.
When they finally broke apart, it seemed that he’d been successful in shutting Rodney up, but instead of a restful silence he heard himself babbling, “I want you to do everything, everything you’ve said.” He could tell Rodney wasn’t even listening. He was just standing there looking stunned. “Come on, McKay.”
“You’re going to call me by my last name, now?”
John jerked him toward the bed, pulling roughly at his clothing. “Take this off. Take everything off, and shut up. You don’t get to comment on my social skills. Not when you go around trying to seduce someone by acting like a jack ass.”
“It seems to be working out okay for me,” Rodney answered. He had his superior smirk back, but John noticed his hands trembling as he disrobed with astonishing speed.