erda: (Default)
You know how you put your pants on in the morning and then you look around for a shirt, and you try on a couple that don't really work, and then you get one that's okay? Then you start your day, but after a while you find yourself digging in the back of the closet for a different shirt. And you find a nice one you've forgotten about and you can't imagine why you haven't worn it for a long time. So you put it on and it is cut kind of weird for your body but it looks okay. But then you still don't feel comfortable so you decide to try again with a shirt you originally rejected as too plain, and you remember you have a slightly butch loose fitting short sleeve shirt you can put over the plain one and that one of your favorite necklaces could add just the right touch. So you change again and you look in the mirror and you look totally awesome?

I love when that happens.
erda: (Default)
So yesterday I got caught uncomfortably close to what the weather service tells me was a tornado. Me and 5 behavior disordered kids between the ages of 10 and 14 were in the van with my tornado preparedness knowledge, which is like what I've gathered from watching the Wizard of Oz. There weren't any storm cellars around, so, visibility quickly approaching zero, I pulled over and waited it out. I didn't know if we would be safer out of the van, which was rocking alarmingly, but I didn't want to panic the kids, and I was worried about keeping track of them all in the storm if we got out.

It took a while to get home what with all the downed wires and telephone poles and all the debris on the roads after the storm passed, but by the time I got back to town, it just looked like there had been a heavy rain.

Then last night I dreamt that I slept with reynolds wrap and sandwich bags. At least they didn't try to molest me or anything, they just stayed there in their boxes quietly sleeping. Maybe it's a subtle dig about being unprepared, hahaha, IDEK.
erda: (Default)
I'd heard this thing about Spoons before I got sick-I have an autoimmune disorder- but I'd forgotten about it, so it was interesting to revisit it.

I've never actually thought about it in terms of emotional spoons. Possible TMI about my issues )
erda: (Default)
My Yuletide story is called "The Furred Boots" and can be found here for what it's worth.

The thing is, I never liked the princess type of traditional fairy tale. I hated them as a child, though I enjoyed animal fables and magical tales in general. It was just the whole princess thing that made me uncomfortable. My favorite character in Rapunzel was the witch. She was powerful! So when I saw the prompt, which read in part:

Can "happily ever after" really work out? What happens if it doesn't? What happens when the young princess suddenly finds herself in a foreign country, bound to a man she barely knows?

I really liked it. So I kind of made Cinderella an adulterer. Sorry about that, but she needed to pursue her own life! It's not that I hated the prince or anything, it's just that his idea of Cinderella was oppressive and stifling and unbearable.

I only have one more episode of Miracles to watch, and I'm just now getting attached to the characters. I don't want it to end. Anyway, I saw some Miracle fic on the archive which I hope I can find some time to read when I've finished watching.

My plans and goals for the new year are not achievable unless I give up sleeping or something. I don't know what to do about that. I think I may let go of writing when I finish this Supernatural story I'm writing to satisfy the minimum requirements of cliche bingo. I've tried to limit the number of things I'm trying to do, but there are only so many things I'm willing to give up.

Nice day

Dec. 7th, 2009 01:28 pm
erda: (Default)
Thank you to friendly people for the snowflake cookies!! I often feel invisible and left out of social situations -totally my issue and not due to anything anyone is or isn't doing- so I appreciate the gesture probably all out of proportion to the effort involved.
erda: (Default)
I'm so excited about my Yuletide assignment. It's something I would never have chosen to write on my own, but I have this idea I'm completely in love with, and I have pretty much the whole plot mapped out in my head already. It's sooooooo cool. I only wish I had the technical skill to write this story they way it deserves to be written. Why is it that I have such strong ideas about what constitutes good writing, and I can look at my own writing and see tons of stuff wrong with it, but I can't seem to fix it?

I guess it's like when I draw something. I can see that it sucks, and how it sucks, but that doesn't mean I know how to make it better.

Oh well, I'll do the best I can. This is going to be loads of fun, anyway. I'm so glad I signed up!

On another note, I'm suddenly in possession of a C++ compiler, several fat books on C++ and windows programming, and a promise of lots more hours of work if I can learn this stuff. Hard choices about what I realistically have time to do are looming and I don't want to give anything up.
erda: (Default)
Now that I have my adorable little 10" Lenovo laptop (henceforth to be known as Lenny Baby) I have embarked on the search for the right laptop bag for her. It has to be attractive and secure, with good padding, and just big enough for her and a book or two, because what is the point of having a mini laptop if you're going to carry it around in a big clunking bag?

I have this bag specifically the tan one third from the left, for my 15" laptop, and I like it a lot. Ideally I'd like a similar but smaller bag for Lenny Baby. I've wasted a huge amount of time looking around today without finding anything that really wows me. It has to be just the right bag for my baby.


I've seen some posts now about the fan survey discussions lowering the general squee level in fandom. I have mixed feelings when stuff like this comes up. The thing is, I came here for the m/m slash fanfiction mainly. I came to escape my life as a woman and all the baggage that entails, to find some fun and read the kind of romance between equals I can't get out in rl. But that doesn't mean I don't care about trying to make the real world more of a place I wouldn't have such an overwhelming need to escape from. I want both things from fandom, a safe place to escape to for fun and re-energizing, and a place to dissect and discuss what's happening out there in the real world that is relevant to us as "other". I can haz both, please?
erda: (Default)
I'm always amazed at people writing on these meme things. I get ideas for prompts on those things like three weeks after everyone has finished up and moved on to something else, leaving me feeling left out of all the fun. I have to think about stories a long time before I can work them out in my mind and write them down.


So when I signed up for cliche bingo, I told myself I wasn't going to stress about it. I already had decided to concentrate on my kink_bingo card, and I decided if I wasn't immediately thrilled with my cliche bingo card I would just write one little mediocre 500 word thing and be done with it, just so I wouldn't be banned (horrors!).

Well, of course, now I feel like a criminal because I'm clearly not going to be getting bingo on this cliche card.

You know, in my utopia where women rule the world, we're going to work like pack mules for 3 weeks out of every month on making the world a beautiful, loving, satisfying, inclusive place. On the fourth week, you check into the spa/insane asylum where people who are not in their fourth week take care of you, and give you massages and listen to your complaints, and make sure your needs are met without making you ask for help.

They insist on helping you into the hot tub and bringing you a big fluffy perfumed towel when you are ready to get out. They don't hold any crazy, ridiculous rambling thing you say against you because they understand that you are temporarily insane. You can watch TOS Star Trek while weeping over your lost youth, and go on and on about how nobody likes you and you've failed at life and everything you've ever tried to do and so on, and later when you're recovered and gone back out into the world no one reminds you that you've made an ass of yourself or implies that you are unstable.

Yep, that's how it would be.